First Day of School

I’ve been grumpy the past few days. I thought it was because I was ready to ship my oldest son back off to school, but I was wrong.As I stood in the kitchen this morning making my specialty (whole wheat chocolate chip muffins – yum!) I turned on the radio to try and lift my spirits. I was hoping to muster a smile and some cheery remarks to encourage my son before he faced another year of school.
What came over the radiowaves and into my kitchen? Find Your Wings by Mark Harris. I started crying. Oh, THAT’S why I’m so moody. Not because I’ve had enough and want my kids to go away, but because I want them to stay. Next time the first day of school rolls around I’ll be sending my youngest son off to face the world as well. It will be the end of an era for me. No more full-time-stay-at-home-mom status. This has been my role for the past seven years and it’s one career I don’t want to end. This is the longest I’ve ever held the same position!
We all piled into the van to take Josiah to school. Elijah seems to enjoy taking his big brother to school and picking him up. As I walked up the stairs I’d walked a thousand times already, I had flashbacks of the past 3&1/2 years. Carrying Elijah up in his infant car seat, then on my hip, then holding his hands as he walked up on unsteady feet, then holding one hand as he held the rail with his tiny fingers, and then being told he could do it himself and watching nervously a few steps behind.
As I walked up the stairs with Elijah today he strode up them confidently and reached for my hand. He knew he could do it alone, but he wanted me to walk with him. I think that’s how it will be next year. Secure enough to know he can do it, but wanting to share his experiences with me. I hope and pray it will be like that throughout his whole life as he continues to walk towards the man he was made to be – one step at a time.


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