I haven’t spent much time with God lately. I miss Him very much. His patience amazes me. I know He’s waiting for me to open myself up to Him. I know He wants me to let go of my grip on the things in life, to give Him all that’s in my heart, my head and my soul.
I might even be avoiding Him, and finding my solace in fleeting things like food, TV and finishing the home renovations. I don’t know.
The longer I go without reading my Bible, or learning something new about God, or praying, or spending time with other Christians, the emptier and emptier I feel.
Even 12 years after rededicating my life to God, I still choose to ignore my best friend sometimes. But I think this is the longest I’ve gone without intentionally connecting with Him.
I’ve discovered I still need Him. Maybe even more so than when I first gave my life to Him. This puts to rest the nagging thoughts that maybe I was just going through the motions of Christianity as I diligently read my Bible, prayed and went to church. Now I know that I do those things because I want to, need to, choose to. Not because someone tells me to.
I’ve discovered that everything I am is wrapped up in who God is. At least, that is how I want it to be. I want to, need to reflect His love, hope and peace to a very hurting world. I want people to see Jesus when they look at me.
This morning I finally spent time with God. And you know what? He missed me too, I could feel it. It was good to connect with my best friend.