How Am I Doing?

People have been asking me alot about how I’m doing with my youngest son just starting school…

Well, I don’t know how I’m doing most days.  I am beginning a new phase in life – one in which I don’t have a little boy hanging around with me 24/7.  Now I get some hours to myself… but I’m still not sure how I feel about that.

Today was long.  During the first few days without the boys I kept myself very busy with things around the house and the garden.  But the weather turned nasty quick, and the jobs around our not-quite-finished-the-renovations house are still a little overwhelming.  Most days I just look around and give up.  But today I started a list of the still-to-do’s, and I can work my way through it during the winter months.  Can’t believe how much there STILL is to do – but that’s the nature of a total house-gut and rebuild – inside and out – what WERE we thinking?! 

I really do have to say that it’s beautiful, though, and becoming more and more everything we dreamed and visioned.  On Sunday we had about 20 people in our house for a dessert party – and there was enough room for everyone (though I still need a few more places to sit!).  Just what we hoped – a place where us and many others would feel loved, safe, happy and warm.

So that’s good – the house is coming along, and it looks like that will be my part-time job this coming year – instead of paying huge amounts to ask other people to do all the jobs that still need doing.  I enjoy the fixing up (who knew?), and hopefully it turns out nice through my efforts!

Back to the boys – I MISS THEM.  Today I forgot their backpacks – discovered this when we arrived at school.  Proceeded to drive home, pick up said backpacks and drive back to the school – totally worth it because my oldest son (just turned eight) actually gave me a kiss when I stopped in his class – right in front of everyone!  Wow, that floored me, and it also made the drive back seems like a treat instead of a hassle.  This morning my youngest son crawled into bed with me as he woke up, grabbed my face in his little hands, and said “You are so gorgeous.”  I mean honestly, it doesn’t get any better than that!  Sure there are crazy hard days when it seems like they just argue with me, cry, and fight with each other – but then I get mornings like today…. and I forget about the other stuff (for a little while at least!).

So that’s how I’m doing.  Accepting of the changes in life, continuing to treasure the precious moments with my boys, starting to enjoy the times to myself, looking towards what I can do instead of what I can’t do, and taking it one day at a time. 

And today was good.


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