His Needs Before Mine?

I was mulling something over a while ago, and I’d love to share it today… it’s an idea I’ve heard many times before, but I hope it will really stick with me this time.  

The idea of putting your spouse’s needs before your own, of serving them instead of being served. 

Hhhhmmm… well, I cook most of the meals, I do most of the housework and our boys are usually happy and healthy.  That’s the gist of the idea, right? 

I’m starting to wonder if there’s alot more to it. 

The things I do might fall into a category marked “roles” – those are my “jobs” around the house and within our family.  Those are givens. 

I think putting Josh’s needs before my own and serving him might mean something else.  

I think it might look more like encouraging him as he works towards his Master’s degree, even though it means he’ll be away a few weeks of the year and busy with papers and studying beyond that.  Encouraging him instead of worrying about the finances of it or the time commitment (and then letting him know repeatedly about my worries!). 

I think it might mean telling him how great a father he is instead of nit-picking when he does things differently than I would. 

And what if it means getting him a cup of tea at the end of the day when I’m bone-tired, instead of expecting him to get me a cup.  

There are little, seemingly insignificant ways to show selflessness and big, huge ways to show service. 

I think it starts with not begrudging my roles, freeing up Josh to become the man God created him to be, and going the extra mile (or inch) with a smile instead of a frown. 

It means encouraging Josh to fulfill his roles, letting him know what I need to do to work towards my goals and dreams, and thanking him when he goes the extra mile (or inch) for me.

I think I might be on to something here….

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4 comments

  1. I especially love your sentence toward the end:
    “… and thanking him when he goes the extra mile (or inch) for me.”

    Because isn’t it true that sometimes we see our dear husbands take the inch (maybe *they’re* tired, or insecure, or that inch is making them extremely vulnerable), and begrudge that they’re not giving the mile?! Sigh, oh, I’ve been guilty of this. Lately, I’ve been looking for the inches, and finding that they really *are* miles! Yay for loving husbands!!!! =D Thanks for this great post.

    Like

  2. Too true… God totally changed my heart 4 years into our marriage when I read the book Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas. It deals with some of these same issues, and more! I highly recommend reading it! Also, I’ve been posting on it lately… yesterday and today included.

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  3. A great post on how to encourage our husbands! What woman reading this, at one time or another, hasn’t regretted NOT doing these things that you are finding of encouraging your husband! WONDERFUL!

    Like

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