I sit down at my computer to type and the words get all jumbled and I can’t seem to make sense of the stirrings of my heart.
I’m trying to rush through the thoughts and get the message across quickly, but this is a post about time. The gift of time. How can I rush these words that tell of slowing, embracing, savouring the gift of time?
So I choose to do something I haven’t done for a long time. Something I love. Something that makes me feel alive.
I take my fingers off the keyboard, push my chair back from the computer, grab a pen and find a blank page in a notebook. I walk up the stairs and into our bedroom. A brilliant shaft of sunlight stretched out across our bed and beckoned me just a few moments ago, but I walked determinedly past as I hurried to type out a blog post.
Now I return to the sunlight, taking the gift of time spent in its warmth. I stretch out across the bed and look out the huge window I love. I take a moment to watch the tall trees swaying in the wind, take in the blue of the sky, close my eyes for a moment and ask God for the words.
They spill out so fast I can hardly keep up. I know I’ll forget some of them, some will get lost as the thoughts come together. The paper fills up with the stirrings of my heart.
Time is such a gift. Grabbing hold of it, squeezing all I can from it and fully living in it seems so impossible some days. I get lost in all the possibilities, paralyzed by all I could do with the time I’m given.
This new phase of life – having my boys in school – leaves me with much quiet time in my days.
Some days seem too quiet and I latch on to whatever noise I can find – soul noise, that is. On those days the gift of time is lost.
Other days I use the quiet time I’m given to learn, grow, create, bless others, praise God. On those days the gift is well-received.
The shaft of sunlight shifts and the air chills in its absence. I’m glad I caught the warmth and inspiration of these few moments in the sun.
Time will move along, moment by moment. In a few weeks or months my time may be full of moments that look completely different than they do now. I may long for just a little quiet time in my days.
For now, I open my hands and my heart to this gift. I receive the time I’m given today, tomorrow, every day. I thank God for His gift of time. He created it just for us, you know. The Maker of the Universe doesn’t exist in time and doesn’t need it, but it is His gift to us.
May I begin, end and live out all my days asking You what You have for me and what I can offer to You in the time You’ve gifted to me.
… Back to the keyboard to type out these words to you… no longer jumbled, but made clear in the Light of His gift and His time.