It’s OK

But blessed is the [woman] who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.  – Jeremiah 17:7 (NIV)

It’s a new chapter for me, in my faith, in believing.  I’m still afraid, but not like I used to be.  I’m still shy, but not like I once was.  I’m still quiet, but I seem to know more now when I have something to say, and it’s OK for me to say it, it’s OK for others to hear, it’s OK to share, it’s OK to make mistakes, it’s OK to be me.

It’s OK.  I find myself saying it over and over during the day – to myself, to my husband, to my sons.  It’s OK.  It really is.

I trust Him.  I find my confidence in Him.  Not me anymore, not my flimsy and self-conscious person.  Not me.  Him.  And I am utterly, truly blessed by this.

Confidence in myself can take me nowhere near where confidence in Him can take me.  Confidence in myself can never accomplish what confidence in Him can accomplish.  Confidence in myself can love, see, taste, feel, care, and encourage in such miniscule ways compared to living out life with confidence in Him.

Such beauty, such joy, such kingdom-building abounds in trusting Him, being confident in Him.

Don’t you see – no matter how much I mess it up, how tired I get, how much I fail – I can find absolute peace that He’s got me, He’s got all of us, He’s got the whole world – IN HIS HANDS.  Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide – thank God – He’s always working out His plans for good, for hope, for our future.

We simply have to seek Him, ask Him, leave it all with Him, let go, let God, trust, be confident.

He knows what He is about.

Let Him in, let Him loose, let Him love us that much.

Then take that love with us everywhere we go… home, work, school, church, across the street, across the world.  And then let Him in there too, let Him loose wherever we are, let Him love others through us.  Be His hands and feet.

Sometimes it sounds so impossible, but I’m realizing it’s really so simple.

This morning I kiss my boys and send them off to class – with his love.  I book appointments for sore hubby that should ease his pain – with His love.  I speak with a stranger about the kids in the Dominican Republic and she gets it and sees the need – with His love.  I clean my home and think about how to feed this small brood of mine so they grow healthy and strong – with His love.  I type and type and type – with His love.

I trust You.  I put my confidence in You.  And I feel such sweet release.  Really?  Is it true?  Can I leave it all in Your hands?  Haven’t I already put so much there for You to fix, restore, mold, shape? 

My child, It will never be enough, I’ll always want more of you, I will pursue you forever, I can’t help it, I love you that much.  Give me the good and the bad, trust me, let me bless you, be confident in my love for you.

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