Sometimes I don’t have the words.
I can feel them piling up inside of me, getting all jumbled together, with nowhere to go…
But sometimes it’s best NOT to write them out.
Not here on this blog, not in my bedside journal, not anywhere.
Because life can get busy and confusing and loud.
And for me the words come from such a quiet place.
There are times when I can’t get to them.
Not the ones that should be written down and shared anyways.
Sure, there’s alot of words floating around in my head and my heart that are crying out for a spot on the paper, on the screen, on my lips.
But words are the overflow of what is inside of us, and what if the inside is just too messy?
Like inviting someone over and there is no place to sit because every surface is cluttered, and there is nothing to eat because the pantry is bare.
Sometimes I give all I’ve got in ways that empty me out fast, and there is no time or energy to get ready for the next “thing” before it comes.
These are not bad times, not unhappy times, just different times.
I wouldn’t change them.
When I’m this tired and the words are this jumbled and it’s time NOT to write – it means I’m really Living in the Moments.
Sure, if I had to keep going at this break-neck speed (by my watch, which tells time much differently than you, or you, or you), I would burn out like crazy.
But I know a different season is coming, a slower one, that will bring much time for sorting through the mess inside and the jumbled words.
It’s already starting.
This morning I see some words floating to the surface.
I see which ones come first, then second, then third, and so on.
They are still there.
Sometimes when I don’t have them for a time, I worry they won’t come back.
I sorta need them to figure out my days, my place, my roles in this world.
But for now, for another little while, they will remain inside.
More will heap on the pile, will come to rest in their rightful spot in the mess, to be sorted in the coming season.
I do love to sort out messes.
I’m weird that way.
I love to take things that are all over the place and make some sense out of them.
So it is the same with the words.
I hope you are enjoying the weeks of summer – there are still a few more to go!
I’ll be back when it’s time to write once again.